Dear Gigantic Booger On The O Of My Keyboard, Today started off just like every other; coercing kids who would rather play Minecraft into getting ready for school, swallowing the peculiar […]
Dear 1986 Party Sweater, I was just fifteen years old when I first laid eyes on you. Hanging there on the rack at Finkelstein’s, your thick, creme colored cable knit […]
Dear Extended Warranty Protection Plan, Upon paying for a new television yesterday, you attempted to surreptitiously prostitute yourself into my purchase. Maybe people who wear pant suits and go […]
Dear Lean Cuisine Fiesta Grilled Chicken “Entrée”, Your redesigned, sexy, mod-looking box caught my eye recently as I was perusing the frozen foods aisle. I found the perfect proportion of […]
I know, I know…I’ve been slacking. It’s summer break, kids are out of school and life is incredibly busy. I’ve had zero time, take a look at my bikini line […]
Dear 100 Calorie Multi-Grain Bread, I was taken aflutter when I first saw you across the aisle. Just sitting there, all sexy, enticing me with your promises of great taste […]
