dear lean cuisine “entree”

In the spirit of good old throwback thursday, or #tbt as the cool kids say with their fancy hashtags, I’m reposting one of my favories. An angry letter to Lean Cuisine. Enjoy! I mean the read, the entree sucks big hairy elaphantitis balls.

tracy fulks


Dear Lean Cuisine Fiesta Grilled Chicken “Entrée”,

Your redesigned, sexy, mod-looking box caught my eye recently as I was perusing the frozen foods aisle.  I found the perfect proportion of stark white to blood orange packaging to be provocative.  I opened the door and moved in for a closer look.

As someone who possesses a BFA with four years of color theory, I am quite familiar with the psychological effects of the color orange. You bet I do. For starters, it is proven to be a stimulus of the sexual organs! Damn right it’s a Fiesta! It can also be beneficial to the digestive system and strengthening the immune system. Additionally, orange has only positive affects on your emotional state, and relieves feelings of self-pity, lack of self-worth, and unwillingness to forgive. Orange opens your emotions and is a terrific antidepressant.

Hooray for Confident & Happy Easily Digested Lean Orgasm…

View original post 593 more words

Categories: Uncategorized

8 replies

  1. I’ve had my microshare of these before, too when I was working long hours. Hors d’oeuvres. Also, I’ll be wearing orange more often now.

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