Remembering Judy

Judy, I want to write you, all about you, to pour you out of my soul onto paper but the words get jammed, they swell up in my throat and choke me and I blow a circuit. You were so much all at once, finding the words to embody you is a task that I want to flow so badly, but they just get tied up in my heart and washed away with overwhelming emotion. But I will write a little bit, because you were my best friend, and a best friend to so many.

Judy Valinsky was born on February 15, 1969, 44 years ago today, and she left this earth 3 years ago on February 8, 2010. She was 41 years old.

She was the most positive person I have ever met. The strongest, most resilient, she made everyone around her feel happy, her smile permeated through everything. The way she walked, moved, and especially danced, was overflowing with her love of life. She laughed in the face of adversity. She was a measuring stick by which I would calculate my own conscience. She always set a good example. She was silly, inappropriate, witty, thoughtful, spiritual and kind. She was an incredible gardener and growing flowers and vegetables brought her immense gratitude and fulfillment. Music was as important to her as the air she breathed. She was the kindest person I’ve ever met. She gave of herself so freely and without expectation. When she struggled, which she so often was forced to, she struggled full of poise, and with the grace of a woman. She accepted all of her many challenges head on and always made the most of them.

Cancer took her. It took her from her son, her family, and her friends who loved her so deeply. That battle was 16 years long, and one day I will write about that, but for today, I just want to remember what an amazing person she was. I would like to give anyone that knew her a space to reflect, chime in, tell a story, or share a memory in the comments. Judy was too big for this world, and she now belongs to the universe, but if I listen closely, I can still hear her laughing.



27 replies

  1. Tracy, I’m so sorry for your loss, but this was a wonderful tribute to someone who was obviously a wonderful person and had a positive impact on your life. Cancer has taken far too many people far before their time, my Aunt Shirley and my Uncle Dave among them. Both were fantastic people who deserved to have their light shine much, much longer.

  2. Thank you. You know, it’s funny, well not funny, but…you know what I mean, that I can’t seem to write about it. I’ve tried for a year and I can’t get it out. It’s too big.

  3. I hope I took that last photo–I think that was one of mine, from my birthday show while I was still pregnant. The one where we had to stop and wait for Judy because she had to take care of a sick/distraught woman on the crowded sidewalk–that was our Judy.

    • Yes you did, the last dead show where we all had to pee on the side of the road on numerous occasions. maybe it was the 72oz tumbler of vodka i had, or maybe it was the brownies…who knows.

  4. That’s so beautiful ~I’m tearing up right now. It is heart breaking when someone so young dies – especially when they leave children behind. Thank you for sharing – it’s hard to articulate these kinds of feelings at times – you did them justice.

  5. Thanks for that Tracy very well said. Judy was/is a beautiful woman, beautiful friend one of those people who affected everyone she knew. I miss her very much and even though I did not see her that last few years I never lost that connection, she was my sister and knowing her made me a better person (yes I am better person)

    Love you Judy, say hi to moondog

  6. Omg!!! I couldn’t of said it better…I met Judy around 1986 or 1987…she lived right down the street from me with her parents…..we were INSTANT friends!! Her laugh, smile & soul was beautiful!! She would come & pick me up with her dog Moondog (who rode EVERYWHERE w her) I had somewhat of a troubled homelife (as did she a little) & we would just “ride out” & enjoy the day….ALLLthe time..we went to festivals or anywhere our friends were…we remained friends for years..she was ALWAYS there for me when I needed her…I moved away to florida before she became ill & kinda lost touch…I was so VERY SADDENED when I heard she past away….she is TRULY missed!! Love u Jude 🙂 ❤ ❤ & Happy bday..THANK U TO PEOPLE WHO KEEP HER BEAUTIFUL SPIRIT ALIVE!!!!

  7. Poor u,I lost my grandad 5 days.earlier and was shocked that in august tht year my dad would.die of leukemia one day after getting married

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